Assesment of Second Project

I really liked the feedback that I received yesterday and it has really made me think about what I can change about my project.  I agree that there is a lack of timing in the piece and I will attempt to change that.  I wonder though, in a state of mind like this should there be a consistency of time?  If the time is completely on point, will it make it too "real" for the audience?  Also, the sound piece comment about altering it would make a distinct impact, but would it be one statement?  Should it be in improper English?  I am satisfied with the project, but the comments were great!